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Look yah noh .. mi is about to tell unu some top secret sinting weh unu cyan tell nobady 
Mi is undacova an a jus sometings mi ova hear an waan tell unu .. but beg unu no call mi name 
Unu noh hear sey Derek fine imself a church dis week… well im was ju dere I show aff wid Kelly Rowland of Destiny child, im still noh fine Jesas yet. Mi hear sey im tek har fi a two piece, fries and coleslaw dunga KFC an a lyrics off di gal wid pure fawt ..a tell har bout im know di Colonel Sanders fram when im use to DJ fi King Tubby's sound dung a Watahouse. What a dirty rotten lyad bway!
Ina di same KFC wan man b*tch fight bruck out between Tuff Gong and neutral. Yes mi dear chile .. Di bway Neutral dash French fry ail pan TuffGong and Britisha ketch ina di miggle a it an claim sey a cause TuffGong fresh wid im an tell him how him slow an treaten sey im a guh repoat him to di SASF! ..yes mi dear chile dat a di Slow-A$$ Service Fedaration . [img]/forums/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img]
Meanwhile big argument a gwaan di head Cashier Tiggr a try get di matter settled and di KFC Manager Pattywatty a try cover up di situation. Neutral im ina wan carna wid di hat hail pan ina im han a cuss sey im sarry im neva get fi rub lickle a di special hot sauce pan im leg before im deep fry im baxide. Im all treaten TuffGong sey im noh come outta im face im ago fry im brain ina butta an put it pan di side orda menu. Mercy what a peica commotion ina KFC di day! Unu shoulda deh deh fi si di drama.
Den di sweetest war pan boardlane dis week a when WitchyOoman Pistol whip JamaicaDaye crass har head tap. Waiiiii .. Witchy warn har if shi noh stap call har weirdo di nex time shi a go buss a shat in har behine cause shi have a licenses fi kill. Fram dah day deh JamaicaDaye a kip a low profile… But yuh neva hear dat fram mi.
King Dahjah mek a record dedicated to im sweetheart Boopie and call it Dutty nasty Gyal. Mi hear sey Dahjah loose im mind when im come home come si Boopie a cook wan big rahtid hagg wid wan apple ina im mouth. Waaiiiiii … Poor ting neva realize sey Dahjah noh nyam powk unless it cook dung ina di gravy. [img]/forums/images/graemlins/704555_dwl.gif[/img]
Unu noh hear sey RollingCalf love live mash up seka Jamaicans.com.!! Yes mi chile.. im wife go post dem business dunga DearK unda di assumed name 'JAMDUNG-Princess' Shi post sey shi carry im dung a Family Court and di paternity test come back sey pickney im a raise a Jacket. But im sey a none a wi business soh mi a go lef it .. unu neva hear dat fram mi – noh sey mi sey- awoh!
Pure illiterate people pan board lane a tell yuh .. Tecky shi a tek course ina Patwa fi get certificate fi Jain di FBI. Pappyshow! ..laawd a macy..If yuh ask mi reading is fundamental and she noh masta dat yet much less fi go study patwa. Den Portmore she still noh know how fi use email….claim sey every minute shi get some kinda error metches! Between mi an yuh di error message shi did a get was: PRESS SEND YUH BLOODY FOOL!
An di wos ediat pan di lane a Xks . Di bway tek im farrin mine self gaan Barbeque hat daag an fowl ina di cole wedda an bun up every blasted ting. Tell anybody sey mi sey ..anybady who bun up hat daag pan grill is a blastid handicap!
If dere was any sign of smaddy a try run a scam dis week it was Green_Biscuit. Imagine di woman a sell wan ply wood walking stick pan Ebay and a call it real antique Mahogany. Den wan ediat ooman name MangoSkin goh bid 1 cent pan it.. Smaddy need fi tek di blastid walking stick an beat di 2 a dem til dem batta bruise.
Speaking of scams .. wan canfident source tell mi seh LadyZ a run scam pan Digicel every time shi go Jamaica. Di smaddy sey dem hear har a boast how shi noh do tings di official way..shi jus tief wan SIM cyad fram smaddyelse phone an mek free phone call. A hope to Gad di nex time shi lan a Sangstas dem carna har behine an haul har go jailhouse fi cell phone fraud and embezzlement..an tack aan wan murda charge pan it.. jus fi spite har! Bloody wicked an Teif!
Poor Littlekay have issues wid U.P.S .. Whateva!!
she claim sey dem naah deliva har sinting dem at har yaad.. bout dem a dash har important illegal alien documents outta street.. if yuh ask mi UPS a deliva di sinting dem a roadside fi a reason ..shi jus noh waan admit sey a roadside shi live .. a gwan like shi really hav roof ova har head. Dats why yuh mussi believe everyting yuh hear fram people yuhnoh.. especially when dem mout lean like fi LikkleKay!
Meanwhile all a dis a gwaan pan boardlane both Yaady and di wan RichD did dung a courthouse a watch di Michael Jackson molestation case. Now an den di two a dem ina di courtroom a bawl out - SET MIKY FREE.. FYAH BUN PAN DI LYAD PICKINEE !!... Mi tink mi hear sey di judge fling dem out wance an fah all.
So Bandido decide fi dash weh di belly and dats all mi ago sey bout dah wan deh ..
Unu noh ask mi noh more question bout it ..mi naah get ina dah wan deh too tough…but mi si when im do it wid mi own 2 yeye! 
Hole an deh smaddy a come…Watch yah noh ..mi a go flash fram di area seen?.. Mi ago goh pan a nex Private Eye mission .. But like mi sey to unu before … ..unu neva hear a ting fram mi...If unu call mi name a worries! Lickle more.
Private-Yeye Wendilin
Mi is undacova an a jus sometings mi ova hear an waan tell unu .. but beg unu no call mi name Unu noh hear sey Derek fine imself a church dis week… well im was ju dere I show aff wid Kelly Rowland of Destiny child, im still noh fine Jesas yet. Mi hear sey im tek har fi a two piece, fries and coleslaw dunga KFC an a lyrics off di gal wid pure fawt ..a tell har bout im know di Colonel Sanders fram when im use to DJ fi King Tubby's sound dung a Watahouse. What a dirty rotten lyad bway!
Ina di same KFC wan man b*tch fight bruck out between Tuff Gong and neutral. Yes mi dear chile .. Di bway Neutral dash French fry ail pan TuffGong and Britisha ketch ina di miggle a it an claim sey a cause TuffGong fresh wid im an tell him how him slow an treaten sey im a guh repoat him to di SASF! ..yes mi dear chile dat a di Slow-A$$ Service Fedaration . [img]/forums/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img]
Meanwhile big argument a gwaan di head Cashier Tiggr a try get di matter settled and di KFC Manager Pattywatty a try cover up di situation. Neutral im ina wan carna wid di hat hail pan ina im han a cuss sey im sarry im neva get fi rub lickle a di special hot sauce pan im leg before im deep fry im baxide. Im all treaten TuffGong sey im noh come outta im face im ago fry im brain ina butta an put it pan di side orda menu. Mercy what a peica commotion ina KFC di day! Unu shoulda deh deh fi si di drama.
Den di sweetest war pan boardlane dis week a when WitchyOoman Pistol whip JamaicaDaye crass har head tap. Waiiiii .. Witchy warn har if shi noh stap call har weirdo di nex time shi a go buss a shat in har behine cause shi have a licenses fi kill. Fram dah day deh JamaicaDaye a kip a low profile… But yuh neva hear dat fram mi.
King Dahjah mek a record dedicated to im sweetheart Boopie and call it Dutty nasty Gyal. Mi hear sey Dahjah loose im mind when im come home come si Boopie a cook wan big rahtid hagg wid wan apple ina im mouth. Waaiiiiii … Poor ting neva realize sey Dahjah noh nyam powk unless it cook dung ina di gravy. [img]/forums/images/graemlins/704555_dwl.gif[/img]
Unu noh hear sey RollingCalf love live mash up seka Jamaicans.com.!! Yes mi chile.. im wife go post dem business dunga DearK unda di assumed name 'JAMDUNG-Princess' Shi post sey shi carry im dung a Family Court and di paternity test come back sey pickney im a raise a Jacket. But im sey a none a wi business soh mi a go lef it .. unu neva hear dat fram mi – noh sey mi sey- awoh!
Pure illiterate people pan board lane a tell yuh .. Tecky shi a tek course ina Patwa fi get certificate fi Jain di FBI. Pappyshow! ..laawd a macy..If yuh ask mi reading is fundamental and she noh masta dat yet much less fi go study patwa. Den Portmore she still noh know how fi use email….claim sey every minute shi get some kinda error metches! Between mi an yuh di error message shi did a get was: PRESS SEND YUH BLOODY FOOL!
An di wos ediat pan di lane a Xks . Di bway tek im farrin mine self gaan Barbeque hat daag an fowl ina di cole wedda an bun up every blasted ting. Tell anybody sey mi sey ..anybady who bun up hat daag pan grill is a blastid handicap!
If dere was any sign of smaddy a try run a scam dis week it was Green_Biscuit. Imagine di woman a sell wan ply wood walking stick pan Ebay and a call it real antique Mahogany. Den wan ediat ooman name MangoSkin goh bid 1 cent pan it.. Smaddy need fi tek di blastid walking stick an beat di 2 a dem til dem batta bruise.
Speaking of scams .. wan canfident source tell mi seh LadyZ a run scam pan Digicel every time shi go Jamaica. Di smaddy sey dem hear har a boast how shi noh do tings di official way..shi jus tief wan SIM cyad fram smaddyelse phone an mek free phone call. A hope to Gad di nex time shi lan a Sangstas dem carna har behine an haul har go jailhouse fi cell phone fraud and embezzlement..an tack aan wan murda charge pan it.. jus fi spite har! Bloody wicked an Teif!
Poor Littlekay have issues wid U.P.S .. Whateva!!
she claim sey dem naah deliva har sinting dem at har yaad.. bout dem a dash har important illegal alien documents outta street.. if yuh ask mi UPS a deliva di sinting dem a roadside fi a reason ..shi jus noh waan admit sey a roadside shi live .. a gwan like shi really hav roof ova har head. Dats why yuh mussi believe everyting yuh hear fram people yuhnoh.. especially when dem mout lean like fi LikkleKay!Meanwhile all a dis a gwaan pan boardlane both Yaady and di wan RichD did dung a courthouse a watch di Michael Jackson molestation case. Now an den di two a dem ina di courtroom a bawl out - SET MIKY FREE.. FYAH BUN PAN DI LYAD PICKINEE !!... Mi tink mi hear sey di judge fling dem out wance an fah all.
So Bandido decide fi dash weh di belly and dats all mi ago sey bout dah wan deh ..
Unu noh ask mi noh more question bout it ..mi naah get ina dah wan deh too tough…but mi si when im do it wid mi own 2 yeye! Hole an deh smaddy a come…Watch yah noh ..mi a go flash fram di area seen?.. Mi ago goh pan a nex Private Eye mission .. But like mi sey to unu before … ..unu neva hear a ting fram mi...If unu call mi name a worries! Lickle more.
Private-Yeye Wendilin
...Mi ago jain witness protectian now.. Dats why mi nain waan tell unu nutten enoh ..cho 
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